What do Anne Brontë, Astrid of Belgium, Ferdinand Eisenstein, Claudia Jennings, Christopher Marlowe, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Ronnie Van Zant, Hank Williams, and Don Wilson have in common?
They all died at the age of 29.
How does this relate to me? Well, I have recently crossed over into a new (super duper scary) stage in my life where I can officially say that I have lived longer than any of them.
So now that I’m old, I was hoping to get advice from other old people out there about how to deal with life as it is now in a state of uncontrollable decline. I’ve realized that there are a lot of things that I didn’t prepare myself to deal with at this age.
What kind of stuff do old people do?
Can I only go to movie matinees?
Is it now illegal for me to wear a ball cap backwards?
What kind of clothes do I have to wear?
Can I only go to buffets to eat, or are there days when I can go to regular restaurants?
Do I have to sell my motorcycle and then wait until I’m 50 to re-buy it?
Is there toothpaste to prevent or delay the growth of dentures?
Do I have to enjoy eating mashed potatoes? Tomato soup?
You get the idea. Any advice would be helpful so I don’t make a total fool of myself out there in a world of young people.